


What Do I Do?

by StormyWrites



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Mentioned Yamaguchi Tadashi, Mutual Pining, Pining, Reader-Insert, Song fic, Tsukishima Kei Being an Asshole, Tsukishima Kei is Bad at Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:53:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28124919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StormyWrites/pseuds/StormyWrites
Summary: Feelings are difficult.Neither Tsukishima nor Y/N really know how to deal with the feelings growing for each other.
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Reader
Comments: 4
Kudos: 45





	What Do I Do?

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on the song Stray Italian Greyhound by Vienna Teng, so I'd very much recommend you give it a listen either before reading or while reading.
> 
> Also it's been awhile since I've written, so while constructive criticism is welcome keep that in mind.

> _ Oh no not now _
> 
> _ Please not now _
> 
> _ I just settled into the glass half empty _
> 
> _ Made myself at home _

A month or so into high school, and Y/N was just settling in. It honestly barely felt any different from middle school except for slightly different people. Well, that and the club she was now managing. Volleyball wasn’t exactly a sport that Y/N all that familiar in, but she needed to join a club and when she got asked directly by a pretty third year, she couldn’t exactly say no. Besides watching cute boys get sweaty and chase after balls was better than doing so herself. 

Y/N even found herself harboring a small crush. One that, of course, she would NEVER act upon. Mainly because she knew she didn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell with this guy. He was rude and triggered her fight instinct, but maybe that’s what drew her towards him. It was kinda nice to simply sit around and daydream though. Very few ever caught Y/N’s attention especially after she got to know them. He was just one of the unfortunate few to do so.

“Tsukishima?” Y/N called from across the gym. “Could you toss me the towel next to you?” The blonde in question looked at the discarded towel and bent down… Only to set his water bottle on the floor and walk off.

“You have two functioning legs, don’t you?” He scoffed, tossing the towel he was using on top of the other one. Y/N rolled her eyes and groaned.

“And you have at least one functioning arm last I checked.” She grumbled, making her way over to the dirty laundry mocking her on the floor.

> _ And so why now _
> 
> _ Please not now _
> 
> _ I just stopped believing in happy endings _
> 
> _ Harbors of my own _

Tsukishima Kei only joined volleyball to put on his college application. At least, that’s what he told himself. Colleges loved a good “well-rounded” person and it’s not like he hated the sport. However, the club seemed to be filled with morons that only contained one volleyball shaped brain cell. At least Yamaguchi was there to keep him from going insane. Every time those morons opened their mouths about improving and becoming the best, Tsukki could feel a growing sense of frustration. Idiots couldn’t even see what a waste of effort that was. He’d think of his brother and all the effort he put in only to fail to play a single game in his entire high school career. There’s always someone better than you out there. At some point, you’ll lose. It’s inevitable.

As his mind wandered, a voice drew him back to the present. The new manager. He had barely heard what she said, but understood from her gaze flicking to the floor next to him. He smirked and leaned down to set his water bottle on the floor. Might as well make her work for her new position. Even as he walked off. He could hear her mumble something under her breath and feel the glare digging into his back. It only served to make him feel more smug.

> _ But you had to come along didn’t you _
> 
> _ Tear down the doors, throw open windows _
> 
> _ Oh if you knew just what a fool you have made me _

As soon as practice was over and all the equipment was put away, Y/N hastily changed back into her uniform. As much as she wouldn’t mind staying and chatting with the other managers, there were a million things on her to-do list that needed to be taken care of before she went to bed. 

“Have a good night!” Y/N waved back at the girls before running out the door. She took long strides as she glanced down at her phone to check the time and open a text from her parents. Her legs naturally took her through her normal route home without much thought.

Then she felt an uncomfortably tight grasp on her upper arm that yanked her backwards. She stumbled back into someone’s chest, her phone falling from her hands. “Wha-?” Before the words could leave her mouth a car flew by where she would have been.

“Watch where the hell you’re going,” A familiar voice yelled at her, the owner gripping her arm even more tightly. Y/N whipped around, twisting her arm from the painful grasp. She took a step back, careful not to step into the street.

“Tsukishima?” Her face felt red hot, but hopefully it was dark enough that he didn’t notice as much? Embarrassment filled the young girl as she fully processed the situation. “Um, why..? I thought you-?” The words were not properly forming, in fact, the thoughts weren’t forming coherently either.

“I may be an asshole, but I’d rather not see you flattened by your own stupidity.” Tsukki felt his heart rate and breathing start to slow down. Seeing Y/N mindlessly walking into traffic made his body move quicker than he could process. He had to run over to drag her back onto the sidewalk. As she continued to stare at him in a mix of confusion and something else, he began to feel self-conscious. Trying to ignore her gaze, he bent down and picked up her cell phone to inspect it. It was cracked, but luckily it seemed like only the screen protector took damage.

“Here,” He thrust the phone into her hands. “The screen protector is damaged, but it’s probably fine,”

“Oh!” Y/N took the phone from his hands and finally snapped out of her adrenaline rush. “Um, thank you.” Under normal circumstances, Y/N would hate giving Tsukishima any sort of praise, but he did kind of save her there.

Tsukki raised an eyebrow at Y/N’s flustered behavior. He was used to making her flustered in anger, but she was being uncharacteristically soft. It was kinda cute. Shaking the thought from his head, he stepped away from Y/N, hoping he wasn’t turning red. “Just make sure to watch where you’re going, moron,” He waved his hand to motion her off and continued down the sidewalk.

> _ So what do I do with this? _

Tsukishima slipped his headphones on as he walked back home. What the hell was that? His heart continued to beat hard against his chest as he desperately searched for a song to take his mind off it. Instead, his playlist continued from where it left off. Normally, Tsukki wasn’t a fan of cheesy love songs, but he’d heard this one in a video somewhere and it managed to pull at some distant heartstrings he didn’t know he had. So of course he saved it to put into a different playlist, but never got around to doing so. Vienna Teng’s voice rang through his ears and he paused to sigh and slam the heel of his palm into his forehead. God, this is  _ not _ what he needed right now.

> _ This stray Italian greyhound _
> 
> _ These inconvenient fireworks _
> 
> _ This ice-cream-covered screaming hyperactive thought _
> 
> _ God I just want to lay down _
> 
> _ These colors make my eyes hurt _
> 
> _ This feeling calls for everything that I am _
> 
> _ Not _

At home, Y/N could barely focus on the homework in front of her. Her mind kept wandering to Tsukishima. Did it really take so little for an asshole like him to consume her thoughts? Her heart tightened in her chest when she remembered how she had fallen back into his chest. Shoving her chair away from the desk, she groaned in frustration and got up to pace. Y/N honestly wanted to scream, but her parents would definitely get mad and the pacing wasn’t helping. So she threw herself onto her bed to finally scream into her pillow. “WHAT THE FUCK,” She shouted. “WHY THAT SMUG SON OF A BITCH,” 

Just thinking about him made her heart do jumps and leaps. This wasn’t like her normal crushes. Normally, she never interacted with them and kept her distance, but the way he- UGH. No, there’s no way he genuinely cared about her. At least not like that. That’s what Y/N kept repeating to herself like a mantra as she tried to go back to her homework. But the words just swam in her vision and made her brain hurt. Finally, she gave up and slammed her head into the desk. She hated it here.

> _ I’m not that kind _
> 
> _ I’m so good at shooting down any notion _
> 
> _ This tired world could change _
> 
> _ It’s all been bought _
> 
> _ Or at least that was my line _
> 
> _ No use in spending all that emotion _
> 
> _ When there’s someone else to blame _

It had been over a week after what Tsukki had decided to dub “the incident”. Since then, he’d caught his gaze turning towards Y/N and trying to catch any semblance that she was acting differently. But to no avail. Even Yamaguchi had pointed out how grumpy Tsukishima had been acting lately. He couldn’t help it. Every damn time she looked at him he had to squash down flutterings in his chest and remind himself of how little she probably cared for him. If anything, she probably hated him even more now. After how poorly he handled the incident and the fact that he was meaner to her now that ever. That’s just how things were. He couldn’t change who he was. If she had a problem with him, then that’s on her.

> _ But you had to come along didn’t you _
> 
> _ Rev up the crowd, rewrite the rule book _
> 
> _ Where do I go when every ‘no’ turns into ‘maybe’ _

Y/N only stayed behind a few moments to finish packing up the gym. But, those few moments ended up making a difference. By the time she was ready to head back home, everyone had already left. Normally, this wouldn’t be a bother. It was the fact that it had begun to rain and she had no umbrella that was the problem. Y/N stood there, desperately rummaging through her bag. Knowing that there was no umbrella, she still clung on to the small shred of hope that maybe she forgot about it. Alas, her hope was thoroughly dashed after every nook and cranny had been investigated. She stood under the overhang and stared out trying to gage if she should wait it out or book it. 

Then, out of the haze of falling water, a familiar figure was walking towards her. Oh god. Y/N’s heart leaped as she saw Tsukishima who hadn’t yet noticed her. His eyes were stuck on his phone and his headphones were on. She had been doing her best to avoid him and act like everything was perfectly normal. Though to be honest, she wasn’t entirely sure it was working as he had been even more rude to her since.

When he finally looked up and saw her, he rolled his eyes in the most dramatic way possible. Y/N simply folded her arms and pointedly looked away. “Let me guess, no umbrella?” He mocked. Y/N stood her ground, “Yea, well, not everyone’s perfect like you, I guess.” He snorted, and continued past her.

“Let me grab something really quick and I’ll be back,” Tsukki called out to her before climbing the stairs up to the club room. Wait. He’ll be back? Y/N’s mind instantly raced, and her face heated up. Did he have an umbrella for her to use? Was he going to be nice and share his? Doesn’t sharing an umbrella have romantic connotations? No. Absolutely not. He would never and even if he did, she’d refuse. However, her mind began to melt when he came back down the stairs. Well, maybe… Just maybe. 

“Alright, let’s go,” He barely spared her a glance. “Uh, what?” Y/N knew Tsukishima to be blunt, but she needed confirmation that she wasn’t implying the wrong thing. He turned to her with a raised eyebrow. 

“Let’s go. Or are you not going to accept my exceedingly generous offer to walk you home under the safety of my umbrella?” He stated with a smirk, exaggerating his tone to match his exceedingly dramatic words. Despite the way he said it, Y/N’s mind absolutely blanked at the now very real prospect of sharing an umbrella with Tsukishima. A soft  _ oh _ slipped past Y/N’s lips. She couldn’t come up with a response, so she simply stepped over to get under the umbrella with him. Tsukishima took the wordless answer and the two began walking.

> _ So what do I do with this? _

Awkward tension filled the air between the two as they walked along the slick pavement. The normally soothing pounding of rain only seemed to magnify it. Y/N struggled to keep up with Tsukshima’s long strides. Eventually she grew frustrated with his lack of consideration. Glaring at the man next to her, she grabbed his arm and yanked back.

Startled, Tsukki stumbled back at the motion. He instantly gave a pointed look at the girl glaring daggers at him. “What the hell?”

“Stop walking so damn fast. My legs aren’t as long as your stick ass ones,” Tsukki only grunted, but ended up slowing down. It almost seemed to break some of the tension. As they walked together, Tsukki could feel his arm brush against hers. She was warm. He felt his heart race as he imagined wrapping his arms around her. He was in deeper than he’d ever been.

Y/N gently grabbed the hand Tsukki was holding the umbrella with. “My house is this way,” She gently tugged his hand. Both of them blushed at the contact and looked away from each other. But Y/N kept her hand on his. “It’ll be easier to lead the way like this,” She said, keeping her touch on him loose. Tsukki melted at the feather light touch. He never realized how starved for human touch he was until this moment. Her hands were soft. 

> _ This sudden burst of sunlight _
> 
> _ And me with my umbrella _
> 
> _ Cross-indexing every weatherman’s report _
> 
> _ I was ready for the downslide _
> 
> _ But not for spring to well up _
> 
> _ This feeling calls for everything I can’t afford _
> 
> _ To know _
> 
> _ Is possible now _

Tsukishima eventually looked down at his phone, checking the weather report in an attempt to distract himself. As the information was loading, the sound of rain started to ease up. He looked up, to see the dark clouds parting to reveal beams of soft light filtering down from the sky. The two stopped in their tracks to watch as more rays of sun emerged to illuminate the rain soaked earth. Tsukki turned to Y/N, watching her surprised face. Sensing this, Y/N turned to Tsukishima and briefly caught the softness in his hazel eyes. Her breath caught in her throat as a moment passed between the two of them. But Tsukki quickly broke it by lowering the umbrella to close it. 

> _ What do I do, do I _
> 
> _ Do _
> 
> _ With a love that won’t _
> 
> _ That won't sit still? _
> 
> _ Won’t do what it’s told _
> 
> _ What do I do, do I _
> 
> _ Do _
> 
> _ With a love that won’t sit still? _

“I can walk the rest of the way by myself. Thanks for the umbrella though.” Y/N felt her fluttering heart desperately wish to stay with Tsukishima, but realistically there was no reason for him to come with her.

“You’ve already dragged me all this way, might as well walk you home.” Tsukki sighed, acting as if she were forcing him into this. “Besides, it might start raining again and it’d be annoying if you got sick.” In all truth, he wanted to spend more time with her.

> _ Please not now _
> 
> _ Please not now _
> 
> _ Please not now _
> 
> _ Please not _

“Oh? How courteous of you,” Y/N smirked, finally able to tease him. However, something in the back of her mind knew that this was the sign she was looking for.

“Shut up. I’d never hear the end of it if the team found out I just dumped you on the side of the road.” Tsukishima scoffed, slightly turning his reddening face away.

“Mmhm, keep telling yourself that.” Y/N laughed. Tsukki’s heart froze. Sure she was laughing at him, but the beautiful sound of her laugh seemed to eclipse that fact. He wanted to hear it again. But instead, he rolled his eyes and let out a disgruntled noise.

> _ What do I do, do I do _
> 
> _ With a love that won't sit still _
> 
> _ With a love that won't sit still? _

Tsukishima almost forgot why they were walking until Y/N came to an abrupt stop. He turned to see her pointing at the house she was in front of. “Well, this is my stop. Thanks for walking with me and the umbrella.”

“Oh, no problem. Just don’t go making a big deal out of it. I don’t want Yamaguchi thinking I’m going soft. Or anyone else for that matter.” The words spilled out of his mouth before he could really think about them. He had a feeling she would tease him about it, but he did have a bit of a reputation to uphold around the team. Instead of teasing him though, Y/N just hummed in consent.

> _ What do I do, do I do _
> 
> _ With a love that won't _
> 
> _ With a love that won't _
> 
> _ Sit still? _

A moment passed between the two of them. Tsukki almost felt like he was dropping her off after a date. Was he supposed to do something? Should he just dump all his feelings right here and now? They did get along surprisingly well. His mind was a jumbled mess of thoughts and seconds were rapidly passing as the two stared at each other. He felt his body temperature rising and his palms getting sweaty. He was running out of time. If he was going to do something he should… He needed to… But what if...

> _ What do I do, do I do _
> 
> _ With a love that won't _
> 
> _ That won't sit still _
> 
> _ Won't do what it's told? _

Y/N could tell Tsukishima was clamming up. Not that she could blame him because she was doing the same. But it meant he was nervous around her too right? It meant he liked her too right? A small thread of self-preservation held her back from saying something. But if not now, then when? She had to shoot her shot right? Otherwise she’d spend her life regretting the decision. No. She didn’t want regrets. She had to do  _ something _ .  _ She had to do something _ .

> _ What do I do, do I do _
> 
> _ With a love that won't sit still? _

Y/N’s shit brain was too busy panicking, so her body moved without it. She stepped forwards and grabbed the front of Tsukki’s shirt to drag him down. He easily let her, his own brain blank with panic as well. Y/N barely registered the surprise in his hazel eyes before squeezing her eyes closed and smashing her lips onto his. It was too rough. It was too rushed. But the two of them just stood there trying to process what was happening as their lips were pressed together.

> _ Everything that I am _
> 
> _ Everything that I am _
> 
> _ Everything that I am _
> 
> _ Everything that I am _

It took an embarrassing amount of time before Tsukki realized Y/N’s lips on his. It wasn’t good, but that wasn’t the point. The point was, he should be kissing her back. Which he promptly did. His eyes closed and his lips moved against hers. His hands slowly drifted to hold her waist and bring her in a little closer. He felt chemicals surging into his brain that he’d never felt before. The two eventually parted, both looking at each other with wide eyes. A smile grew on Y/N’s face as she broke out into a laugh. Part in disbelief, part in relief. She rested her forehead on his shoulder as the tension left her body. Tsukki grinned as well, his eyes softening while gazing at the soft sunlight caressing her skin. He got to hear her laugh again.


End file.
